Bah - Bitchy Bartender Part 1

It's been ages and I do apologize. I've been working heaps and doing other activities on weeknights as well so I barely have enough time for myself let alone updating my blog. Heh. Yes, I know that's no excuse, it's not cool to just disappear for long periods of time. Anyway I've been wanting to do a bartender bitch post for awhile and I think last night really warranted it so... Here I go.

Wait before I begin, I love working at the bar. It's an awesome job and you get to meet a lot of cool people albeit for a very short amount of time. They pay me to pour your drinks but I like providing good bar service because it means everyone enjoys their night. Unfortunately, not everyone sees it that way.

How to get shitty service:

1) Don't tip

Come on, I'm human. I'm not saying you have to tip all the time but we do appreciate it a lot. I don't expect everyone to tip but don't come to the bar asking for excessive favours without compensating us for the extra service. What? Minimum wage sucks. You get even less points for spitting in the tip jar or putting rubbish in it. Not cool.

2) On a really busy night, wave your money in front of the bar staff's face to get their attention.

Yes, that will get my attention but everyone else was waiting just as long as you were or even more. You are not important enough to me to treat any better than anyone else. Unless that 50 bucks you're waving is destined for my own pocket and not for your own alcoholic pleasure, you're waiting in line just like everyone else.

3) Abuse the bar staff. (Note: I said abuse)

Australian bartenders are required to undergo a course called the Responsible Service of Alcohol (RSA). Unfortunately, we do not have breathalyzers everywhere so the government relies on certified professionals, like myself, to judge whether a person has had enough alcohol or not. I would assume boisterous, loud, uninhibited and irrational behaviour falls under the category of intoxicated. :)

4) Ask for favours that are directly in violation with the venue's licensing.

When I say no double shots, I MEAN NO DOUBLE SHOTS! And, ok, your tip isn't enough to make me want to lose my job for you. Sorry.

5) On a ridiculously busy night, where the line is at least 10 people deep across the entire bar, be indecisive.

I'm not even going to go there. You end up annoying not just me, but everyone else in the line behind you.

6) Ask for one drink then change your mind once it's made and saying you ordered something completely different.

Vodka orange sounds very different to a midori lemonade. If you change your mind then say so, don't wait once I repeat the order to you and finish making the drinks before you tell me you want something else. Of course mistakes do happen and I'm the first one to admit that, but you watched me make the drinks plus I repeated the order to you before I made it.

7) Steal from my tip jar.

It's like stealing from charity man, not cool.

8) Assume I can't speak English because I'm Asian.

Fuck you, that annoys me more than anything else. You don't have to be white or grow up in a "Western" country to speak good English.

That said, everyone goes out to have a good time and we will serve you with a smile but obviously if you treat someone like shit, they will feel like shit and that isn't very nice.