My Nightmare
A few nights ago I had the most horrific dream. This just occurred within the span of one night but my dream seemed to take me to a completely different place altogether. Note, the entire time was spent in real time, not summarised moments as it is for most dreams.
Here's a short summary of the dream:
My dream starts with a visit to the doctor who informs me that I was four months pregnant.
Too late for an abortion, the nightmare begins.
Journey back to Singapore in shame, degree unfinished and a child on the way.
5 months of preparation for the birth, the whole she-bang, classes, disappointed talks from family, gossip, etc.
The birth, in a specific location in a specific hospital (Mount Elizabeth Hospital, an actual hospital) with a specific room number, specific doctors and nurses whose faces I can still remember.
Note to self, get a c-section, crapping your pants as part of your own dream is a major nightmare.
Post-birth, I remember my son's face and his green eyes with the wavy brown hair, holding him closely and stroking his skin. This part wasn't that much of a nightmare as much as realising the immense responsibility of his birth.
And that was my summarised 5 month long dream. Very, very weird and detailed to the point where I haven't forgotten it even though it's been awhile. The dream's actually prompted me to start exploring things that I've always wanted to do and haven't had the chance to like future moving to another country and following my own path. I do hope, when I do give birth, the circumstances will be quite different.
7 comments:
You seem to have a fixation on babies lately. But based on your last post, it is clear that you need to de-stress. Go do something active that will tire you out and ensure good sleep.
Lol, I agree. I guess at the time I was still suffering post-exam horror. Since I was young the two things my parents scared me with is getting pregnant and destroying my life or not getting to uni and destroying my life. Since the latter has been fulfilled, it seems natural that the baby horror takes over.
Otherwise, trying to relax, thanks squirrel.
chipazoid,
My parents scared me in the same way....well, not about getting pregnant but not completing uni and destroying my life. I have since learnt that it isn't true. Life is more than just going to uni and does not end if you don't. Heck, my current job is so different from what I trained in.
Anxieties do show up in dreams and Lone Grey is right, You need to get away and just find a place to relax for a while.
You've been working very hard, in a very hard field, and You deserve a break.
I had a nightmare the other night and You will probably think it is silly, and it's not on the magnitude of having one's entire life re-routed, but it was that the beloved forest behind my home where I go to relax, was clear-cut and bulldozed and blocked off from me by a huge wall.
I think you and i can make that dream a reality, we can work on it the way you like it, if worst comes to worst, I would not hesitate on kicking you in the baby maker.
Hey brianelroymckinley, what a stupid thing to say. Are you proud to be a moron and just crave the opportunities to show it off? Didn't get enough attention from your crack-smoking mother or your convicted felon father?
LOL! Make the dream a reality? Honey, I get heaps of offers like that but I assure you, you'd be one of the least likely candidates.
Thanks ecd!
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