Pro-Animal Tester

Lol, yes, I'd destroy every simian being on this planet to find the cure for AIDS or any cancer.

Readily, and coldly. Somebody needs to do it, I think what a lot of non-scientists don't understand is that SOMEBODY, ME, has to do it. If not, there would be no medicine, no research, no progression, no nothing. We'd all have been wiped from the face of this planet ages ago, which seems to be exactly what a lot of hippies are advocating.

The existence of any species in excess is bound to cause detriment to the environment. What else then, do these hippies propose we do? Control birth? Kill off people? Destroy any possibility of a cure for any diseases so the population will be thinned as nature has said it was so? Obviously not.

It's ridiculous enough to think so, but people should realise that somebody has to pay the price. In this instance, it'll have to be some animal or some human being in the long run so that the majority can survive and conquer any illness. We need to do so, it may sound incredibly utilitarian to say so but it has to be done. If I have to sacrifice a few rabbits in order to find the cure for cancer, I totally would.

A scientist has conducted an incredibly interesting yet brutal experiment on rabbits ears. He exposed the rabbits ears to carcinogens and rubbed their ears with sandpaper. Yes, brutal, but it helped to clear some questions about the occurence of cancer and it is with his brutal experiment that a few cancers have been successfully treated at this stage.

I propose that if anyone has any qualms with animal testing, that they offer themselves to scientific testing in their place. We need to test on somebody, hell, it's pretty obvious we need to do so in order for our species to survive. If you don't like it, then just never ever go to the doctors ever again. At least a hundred animals have died for each medical breakthrough.

RAWR RANT

I just realised it's kinda hypocritical to have a blog titled Let Children Breathe Your Smoke and talk about child abuse. Lol, let them breathe it, it's good for them.

Seriously, people keep making such a huge fuss over contracting lung cancer through second hand smoke. How fucking ridiculous is that? Seriously, there's gabillions of atoms in the air at any point in time. Do you really think that breathing less than .000000000000001% at a time is going to kill you? If you do, you're an idiot. There, I said it. You're a bloody idiot.

There should be more nasty smokers out there who blow smoke at people who're being ridiculous. Why should I be polite to someone when they obviously have no manners? Air is free for everyone to breathe, and if I want to inhale hot vapours from a plant that grows from the ground, I should be bloody welcome to do so at my own detriment. You are definitely not going to die from just an afternoon or two's worth of inhaling my second hand vapour in your lifetime.

How ridiculous to even suggest such a thing, sometimes I think people should be forced to have at least a basic understanding of science. It is ridiculous to think that people can function without thinking logically in their day to day lives. I mean, don't you realise that there's more pollution coming from a city's worth of cars than the entire smoking population of the globe combined?

For your information, if you are more prone to cancer, you will definitely get cancer sometime in your life. It is a fact of nature, and it sucks, but it happens. It is because your body is unable to correct any mistakes that is in your DNA. Our DNA goes through 10^6 mistakes every day, just through physiological stress and it is possible that one of these mistakes may cause cancer. The reason why we don't get cancer everyday is because there's checks in each step to ensure that there isn't a mistake. Of course, exposure to a carcinogen can destroy one of the checks, but a second and third mutation to the checks are needed in order for you to get a malignant tumour. Some people are born with a lesser capacity to deal with these mistakes and they are more prone to cancer.

Pfft, and you're telling me a whiff of smoke once in awhile is going to kill you. If it did, we should all be either dead or completely mutated by now. But we aren't. Because it doesn't work that way.

If that's not enough, I'm going to add statistics to this observation. The percentage of people who have contracted lung cancer has not decreased over the years. The trend has shown that only about 20% of the population in Australia smokes from the 80% from previous years. There's still a steady rate of people contracting cancer, which makes us draw the conclusion that cigarettes are probably not the cause of the lung cancer epidemic.

Second rant for the night, done.

Kiddy sex industry

It's still a big problem and I do admit that I do not think of this at times, but it does happen. In fact, it's a multi billion dollar industry. Children are kidnapped across the globe and forced to perform sexual acts on paying customers.

I guess the thing to ask is, is it possible that some people really do love children?

I know, I know, horrible for me to say this but you have to consider it. Do some people really fall in love with children? It is a biological love, like homosexuality? Is it more psychological? Is it the destruction of innocence that gets someone's off or is it that they find the love between an adult and a child utterly beautiful?

Okay, enough trying to sympathise with paedophiles. When I did charity work in Thailand, I visited some homes where the children had been sexually abused. It was horrible, some had severe psychological trauma. This girl in particular, she was 18 and had the mentality of an 8 year old just because that was slightly before she was raped. She was retreating into her childhood memories to escape the horror and pain. Just thinking that there's possibly thousands of children being subjected to that same torture as that girl, is despicable. I mean personally, I can't even get over the fact that I was molested at age 12, I can't imagine being raped at 8. That's disgusting! I curse that man every day!!!

It's not only the kiddy sex industry, children are being exploited in other ways too. It's not only sexual abuse we should worry about. There's economic exploitation too, where children are forced into slavery in gangs. Let me explain, some children are forced to beg for gangs. I've seen children with their limbs sawn off, begging for money on the streets in Thailand and Indonesia. It remains debatable whether they all lost their limbs through some unfortunate accident, or if they really were sawn off but that's just understood. Then there's the more recognised child labour exploitation where children work for peanuts in developing countries.

There's also emotional and psychological abuse that you should consider. It happens in a lot of families where children don't grow up with the proper care and consideration that they really need to become fully functional adults. It's not that I'm saying all parents are bad, I understand that they do the best they can. It is just unfortunate that sometimes it is beyond their control.

We all need a little spontaneity

My girl friend and I were sitting around somewhere and suddenly decided to journey to Byron Bay. We literally just took off, quickly did some research, hopped into a rented car and then start a journey to Byron. It was a really good idea, except for the fact that we were just two girls in a car feeling quite terrified because we'd watch too many movies of people on road trips being massacred or tortured.

It was really funny, this actually happened. At some point on our journey at about 2 am in the morning, an aboriginal man just walks calmly in front of the 80km/hr car and then suddenly stops right in our path and waves his arms, trying to get us to stop. My friend and I literally started screaming and swerved to miss him and then we were pulled over by the cops because they thought we were drunk. I think it's really funny, we got pulled over because we didn't want to hit an aboriginal man. Can you imagine if we did hit the guy? He's seriously an asshole for trying to kill us though, god. Anyway, that was some scary shit.

Love = Slow poison

It's ridiculous to say that being in love with someone doesn't inevitably change you in any way. Sorry baby, I don't mean that you're poisoning me, just that you've probably killed some bad parts of the old me, which is probably a really good thing anyway.

I can't say for a fact that I'm completely healed from a variety of things but I guess I'm still dragging my broken body and spirit from one day to the next.

It's amazing what a few bad relationships can do to your psyche. I'm not just talking about bf/gf relationships but with friends and family too. A bad relationship has the ability to shatter your trust in many things. It breaks you down to a new level. You're not physically hurt, but your mental being faces a near fatal blow that you need recovering from. Your mouth's dry, your gut feels heavy, you're more sensitive to any new pain that comes you way.

It generally takes a longer time for you to recover from a bad relationship than a physical illness. All you can do is to try to push through the misery and disillusionment you feel to try to trust again and open yourself up fully. It's always a risk that you take whether it's allowing somebody new into your heart or forgiving someone who's wronged you terribly.

All love is slow poison, we all kill little parts of ourselves in order to sustain any relationship. It's always a give and take situation, there's no two ways about it. We barter the little shreds of our personality until there's nothing left of us at the end of the road.

Relationships are the luck of the draw, you never know what you're going to get. It's not always a bad thing though, in my case I've found someone I think I can trust.

Difference in censorship laws?

I just realised that most of the animations I used to watch as a child, had transgendered people on them. That's really hysterical seeing as how Japanese people don't mind children being exposed to that sort of thing at such a young age. That's awesome, more people should realise that you can't coddle your children forever, so the best thing is to let them learn and make their own decisions to a certain extent.

Platonic love, myth or reality?

Well, I personally believe that it may exist but only between two people who are completely and utterly unattractive to each other. I bring in this case my friend and I. He insists on not being named, because he's a major jerk. He and I have known each other for about 5 years now which is a pretty long time if you think about it. We've done the whole hours on the phone, spent nights out together, drank together, bitched together and we've fought like a crazy psychotic couple before. The thing is, at least on my end, I am utterly not attracted to him at all. It's not such a bad thing, I'm not insulting him, he's an awesome guy it's just that I don't have feelings for him in that way.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has a really solid friend who is of the opposite sex. Any takers, anyone?

Just some rambling

If my being is the sum total of my experiences, what happens if I can't remember most of them? Would that mean that I cease to exist as a person, or would the perceived existence of my body equate to my existence?

I'm probably digging a hole here, since this area isn't really my strong point but it is something I wonder about from time to time.

Hmm.

An example of warped perception

So I have a very special girl friend that I'm absolutely in love with, she's an absolute angel and doll. I'll post a picture of us up sometime when we actually get a picture that we both agree can be seen in public.

She and I have played the weight game for a billion years by now. Every girl's played this at least once.

1: I'm so fat
2: No you're not, I'm fat
1: No you're not, like look at my fat *grabs her fat
2: Shut up you bitch, look at my fat *grabs her fat
(The two girls start contorting in funny positions trying to win the who's fattest contest until they realise that other people are watching them and stop)

We're so upset about the fact that we gained so much weight that today we got a tape measure and measured ourselves to see who'd win since our contorting game always gets interrupted. We're the same bloody size! That was a weird realization since I thought she was heaps slimmer than me, and she claims that I'm heaps slimmer than her.

Could this be an example of negative psychological reinforcement acting on visual perception?

Thud

I was reminiscing with my best friend from back home and we were talking about something that happened on this one occasion. We were having coffee somewhere and just talking a load of bs when we heard a really loud thud. We turned around and saw that someone had collapsed. I immediately sprang up and checked her breathing, which she wasn't. My friend lifted her legs while I checked for her pulse, it was really faint. We screamed for someone to call for an ambulance and I tilted her head back so she could breathe better.

We were both scared shitless but she regained consciousness by the time the ambulance came around. She had a history of heart murmur or something like that but refused treatment. She was more afraid of her bf being pissed off at her, which was ridiculous. It took about an hour of coaxing to get her to agree to get herself checked out.

At the end of the day, my best friend and I laughed it off. I mean, I think she probably would've been okay without us there, but at least we helped. It was a pretty funny experience in the end, I still wonder if she's doing okay or not. Oh well.

A scary thought

Apparently my university marks its papers on a bell-shaped curve. As in, 50% of the students taking that course will pass, and various %es getting credits and distinctions. Does that mean that since I've undertaken my course, that only 25% of the original students actually make it to third year? It can't be that ridiculous number right? Right?

Proscati-Nation

I was just thinking, my memory isn't as great as it once was. That's okay, some things are better forgotten anyway. I don't really remember a lot of being about my childhood or even my teenage years but I remember bits of things, just bits.

I mean, I remember friends pretty all right. I can honestly say that I don't remember much about my first boyfriend. Nothing beyond the fact that he's Indonesian and was really pimply. This kinda brings back memories of being 14 and having to listen to your parents scream about you having a boyfriend. Then we fight back saying that they don't know anything and that it was all serious and having it break up after about 3-6 months and at the end going, huh, how bout that? I remember even less about my first serious relationship, you know, it lasted for about a year. Heh. Sorry, if you happen to come across this. No wait, what do I care.

I don't really remember my first kiss and I was definitely sober then. It was definitely with my first bf but where, how did it happen, was it all I hoped it would have been or was I sorely disappointed? I don't remember much of this, which saddens me to no end. I feel like I lost one of those fundamental memories that they say are supposed to be important to you. You know, first kiss, first fuck, first marriage. Eh? Ehhhh?

I don't remember my first cigarette although I do remember the first time I went to buy cigarettes on my own. I was 14 and I walked up to the cash register at a supermarket and casually asked for a pack of malboro menthols. I remember the tiny rush you got just from being able to buy cigarettes then. I remember the rush you got when you bought alcohol under 18 as well. Now the whole affair seems extremely blaze.

I remember the first time I got my period. I woke up in a bloody mess, which was pretty fortunate I suppose. I could've gotten it in school like some of my unfortunate classmates at the time. Heh, I still remember the teachers carrying sanitary pads in case of an emergency and the school providing extra uniforms in the event of an accident. We even had heating pads if somebody's cramps were really bad.

It makes me wonder, what else will I forget in the coming decades and can you tell how desperate I am to fill shit in on a post so that I don't have to listen to my lectures?

Subtitles

My friend and I had a movie night last night and it was really fun. She grew up in Malaysia so we both come from backgrounds where we grew up watching different types of movies in different languages. Coming here, her and my white friends just bitched and whined about having to watch foreign movies that are subtitled.

"Why would you watch a fucking asian film? Why would you want to read shit when you're drunk and enjoying a movie? BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Pfft, I think it's ridiculous that people just want to watch whatever's shown in the cinema and that's it. There's a whole globe out there with different types of movies, different cultures with different takes on the world and if you're unwilling to explore it just because you're too lazy to read while watching a movie, I think that's incredibly sad. You're missing out on so many new things, new philosophies, new outlooks, etc. Not everything's about the West man. As it is, not all subtitled movies are good, but they're not all bad either.

No, I've been too nice. I think it's incredibly pathetic that some people are so egocentric. Why put down asian films just because they're asian? God, the ignorance that people display is disgusting. I mean even if you just don't like asian films, can't you find another reason besides the fact that they're asian to hate them? I don't walk around insulting your ridiculous culture because I'm asian, do I?

And another thing, why're these self righteous white people so choosy? Oh, I don't want to eat this, I don't want to eat that. I'm a fag pussy shithead that's unable to deal with anything that isn't white and new. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. It's asian, it's spicy, it makes me soooo sad. TEARS MAN, TEARS!

Sometimes I think you self righteous white people deserve a kick in the groin to remind yourselves that you've got areas we can kick you hard in that will make you cry too.

Weight loss update!

I've got an assignment due today so I'm writing a really brief post first.

So, after weeks of proper diet and exercise I've finally lost a complete dress size.

My fat jeans aren't so tight on me anymore, it doesn't cut it, in fact there's heaps of room right now.

I don't look as bloated anymore.

You might even be able to pick out that I have a face under my face lard.

I want to up my exercise program, maybe I'll wake up early and jog or I'll jog when I get home. Shrugs!

Hey Amar, you were right, muscles are the way to go. I have this horrible ability to develop muscles at a monstrous rate so that really threw me off when I saw myself getting bigger at first. The muscles have helped increased my metabolism though, and even on days where I don't exercise it's okay as long as I don't eat like a little piggy.

So yay, I know it's not interesting but screw you, my site, etc.

Earthquake in South East Asia

It scared the living hell out of me, my mom messaged me tonight saying that there was a tremor back home. She said she was fine, so I messaged my dad in order to find out if he was all right too. I'm going to expand on this post later, but for now, I'm glad they're both alive and well.

WA-PISH!

So the past couple of days I've been fortunate enough to work during an underground film festival. It was incredibly interesting just watching artistic films that aren't viewed in mainstream. Some were really cool, others were beyond my comprehension as it is. I'm a scientist after all.

I suppose it's good to have arty farts, they're able to see another type of beauty in everyday life that scientists don't see. Together, all of us are able to appreciate every aspect of life and the universe.

Dunia Lain

The first one is crap

The second one's in an old railway station. The team supervising this shoot is a floor above. They're filming him in complete darkness with infrared cameras. It doesn't show here, but the team normally talks about what happened after the shoot. In the version I have, the bomoh said that the spirit was lonely and peaked around for a bit first where the cameras were then went to visit below where the solitary man was.

The third one's really funny. She's in an old school bathroom somewhere. Same deal.

Enjoy people.

Ghost story #2

Man, I seriously used to have heaps of ghost stories when I was younger but have since forgotten most of them.

I can honestly tell you that most of the time, people aren't really sure they see ghosts in the first place. It normally occurs as a flash, rather than what happens in the movies where it's staring at you for a bloody long time/trying to kill you/whatever.

I don't really have such good stories as the one already shared on this blog so here's a short collection.

1) The motor shop
I was hanging out with my friend at his friends bike shop. We were sitting down, and my left eye just went black for about 2 seconds. I turned to look, and it was a large, black shape just hovering above me. I just kept quiet about it, but when I turned to look at the owner of the shop he smiled at me and said, "He likes you."
I never went back to that shop.

2) The park
This didn't happen to me so much as what happened to my mom and friend. It was new years a couple of years back and we hung out at the park for a bit after a night of clubbing. I turned my head and I saw a lady just sitting in a tree watching us. I immediately told my friends to get out of there as soon as possible. We got home and I went to take a shower.

While I was showering my mother started screaming for me, so I finished quickly and went to her. She told me to take ablutions and asked me where I went. I asked her why, and she said something smacked her wok while she was using it and then she saw a small brown figure standing at the kitchen doorway. I was pretty freaked out, so while I was doing what she said my friend yelped.

So my mother and I went to see my friend, he said that while he was on the bed, he felt something jumping very vigorously on it. He got really freaked out and started praying.

3) The dam near my house
In order to get from my house to the dam back home, a shortcut we used to use was through a semi-developed area. I mean, it had roads and lights but it was still extremely dark and still had heaps of trees. One night I was on my friend's bike when it slowed down almost to crawl. I was starting to feel a bit scared at this point, and told him to speed up but he told me that he was already on the highest gear.

I was starting to get a little worried, I didn't want to be stuck there in the middle of the night, damnit. He kept gunning his engine but nothing happened we were still going at a really slow pace. Suddenly, his bike shot forward and we were in the clear for a few metres before it slowed down again. In the tropics, you don't really need a jacket and it was at this point when I felt cold, hard fingers around my waist eventually circle me. I screamed. Luckily for us, a car came up from behind and flashed its lights at us. We gunned forward again and finally made it to the dam. The driver stopped and told us that the back of the bike was really low and that it was a really weird sight to see.

We took the long way home. I'm going to post some youtube videos from this retarded show from Indonesia. Although most of it looks stupid at least it'll give you guys a rough idea of what it's like in South East Asia.

Hope you guys enjoyed this post.

Much ado about nothing

I started this blog so that I could just whine, bitch and rant to my hearts content without having to worry about boring the hell out of my friends. I could write all I wanted, and even if my friends wanted to read it or not, that's cool. I don't really mind or care if they read it or not. I used to have an anonymous blog too, that I gave to very special people who were really close to my heart and I used to love the anonymity. At least then, I could show an even more secret part of myself. Finally able to let all the tension in my life go, it was an absolutely gorgeous feeling.

We all know how it goes, the longer your blogs on the blogosphere, the more people read it. You get more famous, you start to meet new people and you lose sight of what made you start blogging in the first place. People notice you now, it's not like the times where you were a quiet little site nobody cared about and you could just go crazy and really be yourself. A little part of you dies, just like a little part of you dies every single day. You kill yourself in the virtual world as you do in real life. Every single time you accommodate another persons expectations to what you should be, you die. Every time you make an excuse for the person you are, you die.

Sure, it's definitely a naive look at the world however everyone knows that feeling where they have to do something just out of duty but not desire. The older you are, the better you get at it and you need to do it to get by. We're losing our new hope, we're destroying what was once a place where you could be anything you wanted to be. Will we only realise this when it's lost completely? Or when you realise that you're a shell of the being you once were...

Cooking, I haven't posted about this in awhile

It's mostly because I hate perpetuating the stereotype that a woman's place is in the kitchen. However, I thought I'd start with the fact that these hands handle human innards. Hmph.

Anyway, I think I've created my own soup since I couldn't find any recipes online.

I haven't thought of a name for it yet, but I'll share it with the world right now.

First, I made real chicken stock. I boiled it for hours, did the whole fast boil for 15 minutes and drain, then boil again bit. Removed most of the meat on the chicken and left the bones and added ginger to the stock.

Halfway through the boil I added carrots, onions and garlic. They add a really good taste to the soup.

Once the stock was done, I added broccoli (I'm not recommending this, it was all I had at the time but broccoli just falls apart and thickens the soup which is good if you like that sort of thing, otherwise get celery instead) and corn. Yes, corn. Not creamed corn, fresh corn. Don't remove the little yellow bits, boil it for a little while to soften the centre hard bit and then cut it about a thumbs length.

I know nobody does it like that, but my mom did so shut up.

Poach the chicken meat you removed in the soup for awhile until cooked.

I almost forgot the herbs I put in. I added a little bit of dill, a lot of coriander leaves and I knew something was missing. So I picked up whatever was left of my mint leaves and just added some in. The result was astounding.

10 points for whoever can come up with a good soup name.

Silence

I'm struggling to find something to write about. I used to write at a much higher frequency than I do now, and I'm honestly wondering why.

Is it because I'm quite content with my life now?
Do I really have better things to do?
Is it because exams aren't for a few more weeks?

Shrug.

Drugs are bad mm'kay

At least half of our genetic code's for the brain.

Cocaine isn't physically addictive.

Perhaps I should explain, there's a difference between psychological and physical addiction. A physical addiction is when your receptors (where drugs act upon) in your body are either overstimulated or increase in number, both causing a need for more of a certain substance to feel normal.

Psychological dependency is when you think you need more of something, but you don't. Cocaine is a prime example of one of the substances that make you think you should have more, but you don't. It's just that the feeling is so wonderful that you would prefer being in that state as compared to not.

Personally I really wonder what started this banning of illicit substances in the first place. Was it because they're bad for us, they make us act a certain way, or what? I don't understand it, I don't see how we should give up so much power to someone else to tell us what we should or should not ingest. It's like telling muslims that they shouldn't eat pork, just because it may be bad for you. Bullshit.

Bullshit bullshit bullshit.

Nobody cares about the armenians

I don't really have much to say, just thought I'd voice my opinion on this, probably done it already but oh well.

Recognise the damned amernian genocide you evil president! Just because you say it didn't happen doesn't mean that it didn't, and now they're phasing its presence out of history and nobody's doing anything.

Bah

I'm officially legal in all countries. That's cool and all, but I'll never feel that tiny rush of buying something illegally anymore unless I really WILL get in trouble for it. It's just not the same, when you were young and buying alcohol hoping they wouldn't check your id, I'll never feel that again.

Also if I fuck up legally, I'm legally responsible. No fair.