Abortion and Child Birth.

I suppose what disgusts me is when anti-abortionists sneer at women who would like to or have been through an abortion. Do you think it's easy to kill your own child? Yes, it is murder and women who go through with abortions are completely aware of this fact. I mean, if you're not ready to take care of a human being, who is anyone to judge this? Who the hell are you to judge someone who has made a conscious and mature acknowledgment that they are not ready? Of course there are other reasons why women go for abortions but that is beyond the scope of this post.

Sure keeping the child takes a lot of courage too. I mean, I'm certainly not ready to have my own child yet and I'm certain if I were ever in that position I would choose abortion. It is a great responsibility, you have to work and provide for your child. You have to sacrifice many things, give up your freedom, become a role model, everything you do will affect this child and how he/she grows up. It scares me, and admittedly, I am just too young and not ready to shoulder this burden responsibly.

So which is harder? Abortion or child birth? I know many women are saying CHILD BIRTH!!! But honestly though, I don't think it's easy for women to give up their prospective children. I think we should cut these girls some slack. I think both decisions require an immense amount of thinking and either decision should be respected. Of course, if you're a substance abusing bitch who insists on taking drugs while your baby's growing inside you, I really don't have any respect for that. I've seen and heard of so many case studies where the mother refused to give up whatever addiction she had and babies being born with no eyes or with many, many birth defects. I know it's hard to give up what you love, but this is a responsibility that affects your child, not just you.

Also, if you encounter a teenage mother, don't give her shit either. I recently heard my classmate was apparently pregnant at the end of our highschool years. Now she has a 5 year old boy, and that's cool. I won't judge her or think any less of her. In fact, I respect her all the more that she decided to keep her boy. Society seems to think so lowly of teenage mothers, but seriously, the burden of taking care of a child when you're not ready is definitely a hard thing to endure without society putting so much crap on them.

I don't really know the point of this post, but I guess what I'm trying to say is both choices are difficult to make with their own set of consequences. We should respect these decisions to be made by the women instead of judging them.

Aliens? Bwahahahaha.

Okay, I'm not saying there is or isn't. As in, any alien being could be intelligent lifeforms to microbes living on an asteroid as far as I'm concerned. I guess what I'm trying to say is I really don't give a shit. I mean, sure, there might be some extraterrestrial being floating around and watching us, wow, that so does not sound like another dude we have watching whatever we do. Derp. Anyway, I got this idea when I was watching a documentary. The documentary wasn't outlandishly horrible, like it had pros and cons to the different types of evidence out there and points of view from both the skeptic and the believer so it wasn't too painful to watch.

So you have pictures, you have videos and you have eye witness accounts. Hi, my name is whatever and I've been abducted by aliens. Bahaha. Okay, so it's probably really traumatic and all. The documentary made an interesting theory that it might be due to sleep paralysis. Now, my sister used to suffer from this where she'd wake up in the middle of the night and wouldn't be able to move. The documentary stated that this occurs somewhere during REM stage of sleep and the brain goes into this cycle where it is similar to when we are awake. It was also interesting to note that the cases in Japan don't normally report sightings of aliens but about ghosts instead when this sleep paralysis in effect. This raises the possibility that it's a culture related thing. A lot of asians still believe in ghosts, in fact, I myself could tell you a couple of good ghost stories too. Mwahaha, in fact she used to think she was haunted by ghosts and that one used to sit on her chest and bug her.

Back to the point, so when you suffer from sleep paralysis you "wake" up in the middle of the night and your body's still asleep. Your mind's also still asleep, as in it's still conjuring up your dreams but you know, you can't move. Etc. THE DOCUMENTARY STATED, I'm not sure how far this is true, but they said Americans are more likely to believe in extraterrestrial beings rather than spooky apparitions. This was another theory given by the scientists in the show explaining why there are so many people with the same reports of abductions. You hear it on the news, you watch documentaries and you think it happens to you one night when this sleep paralysis occurs.

I don't know about that, it all seems to be a lot like grasping for straws here. Sleep paralysis could be the answer to this, but why would they extend the hallucinations to being lifted into the mothership and being experimented on? I mean, with the ghost thing, the lady at the foot of the bed normally appears for just a small while instead of a long period of time doing stuff to you. I mean, there's similar sort of reports of apparitions sitting on you when you wake up, etc. It just kinda makes me of all the bogus explanations they try to come up to explain unexplainable phenomena.


I remember watching another documentary on ghosts and how instead of us actually seeing ghosts, we see electromagnetic fluctuations which capture a particular moment in time for no reason whatsoever and replays that scene when the conditions are right. Oh please, what the hell is that supposed to mean. I remember a time when I could watch documentaries and not scoff at people. I miss those innocent days.

Books, Censorship and Childhood Rebellion

I miss reading, I miss having my own time to waste and spend on reading. Sitting on my shelf now are just a few books I could not bear to part with. I arrange all of them according to size, but if I have a more substantial collection I shall arrange them according to topic. On the most left of my shelf stands tall and proud, The works of Edgar Allan Poe. Lovely black leather bound book, I admit I haven't read it as thoroughly as I'd like. The next book is A Brief History of Time. A must have for all scientific readers. Rubbing shoulders with that is A Clockwork Orange followed by American Psycho and even, I'll admit, The Devil Wears Prada. Then lies the great Atlas Shrugged followed by Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy and lastly the Satanic Verses and The Ground Beneath Her Feet by Salman Rushdie.

I have heaps more books in Singapore. During my recovery after my tonsillectomy, my mom and sister were kind enough to buy me a heap of books in order to keep me company while stuck at home. So far as I can recall, there's Contact by Carl Sagan, Gulliver's Travels (a children's book? No way, read it as an adult and be astonished by the amount of political insight the author provides). There's also the Never Ending Story and at least 20 odd books I can't remember.

I remember as a child, the school had this stupid programme which forced children to read a book a month or something. What the hell, I used to eat books up quicker than food. Cursed (blessed) with insomnia, I used to read many, many books in order to get to sleep. Anyway, this programme comprised of students such as myself, buying books from a book fair that would occasionally come to my school and doing a little book report on it. A clever scheme to make money and get the children to read, no doubt. On one particular book fair, they sold Goosebumps, a somewhat "scary" series of books designed for younger children. As soon as my principal found out about these, she ordered an immediate recall. Obviously the fact that I was in an Anglican school denoted the censorship of such texts. You know, because children are incapable of distinguishing fantasy from real life and such devil books are going to make us Lucifer worshiping orcs from the Lord of the Rings.

I was pissed, of course. My rebellion then was to do a book report on a HP Lovecraft book and prove that reading any "satanic" texts does not make you the antichrist, you can still get good marks in school and be a good, devout God worshipper. Yes, I know 10 years on, I've become agnostic but the thing is I don't believe in organised religion rather than disparage the belief of God. Well anyway, the teachers did not appreciate my book report so they failed me on content but I passed on grammar. Meh.

I also remember we were forced to do creative writing, without the creativity. We weren't allowed to write about whatever we wanted. No, we had to write within reason. I wrote once about being stuck in the lift with a drunkard who urinated on the ground of the lift, activating this thing in Singapore we were rumoured to have. So what happens is if you piss in the lift, and yes, this happens quite a bit back home, a censor will be activated and the lift with jam. So I reported this as happening to me on the way to school and how I had to stay in the rank cubicle with this drunkard for the better part of an hour and how horrible it was. That was too bogus, of course. Urinating isn't something little proper girls should be talking about. It was original damnit.

Anyway, what happened since then was that I had to tone down all my writing. By the time I graduated from high school, all creativity has left me. I can't even lie on my resume. Since then I've been writing general knowledge papers for junior college, which was completely retarded as well. Can you imagine we used to have lectures on what to write on a general knowledge paper? I mean, HOW COULD SOME PEOPLE BE SO STUPID!? After junior college came university where the only creative thing I get to do is design experiments, which is based on you know, knowledge not on creative happy things. I miss it. Curse you old school of mine!

My favourite dish ever.

My mother is a culinary genius. She is the main reason why I am as large as I am today as she has invoked a love of wonderfully home cooked food. Nah, it's really cause I'm a lazy slob who loves to eat. Anyway, due to the fact that we live in a multi-cultural society she has many different types of recipes from around the world to impart to her children. See, my mom can cook a mean curry and other dishes from India, she can also fry a wonderful rendang (Malay dish), all types of Indonesian, Arab, Chinese, and even cooks a mouth-watering steak. Getting to my point, however, is bahmya.

If you ask my mom what nationality most of her dishes are, she'll just tell you to shut up and eat. I bet she doesn't know, but oh well, it tastes bloody good anyway. So bahmya's supposed to be either Egyptian or Iraqi, I'm really not sure. It's supposed to be a meat and okra stew, but tastes good without okra or lady's fingers if you don't have them.

Normal Ingredients:
Onions n Garlic
Beef
Okra
Tomatoes (some chopped and a small can of paste)
Cumin
Coriander
Stock/Water
Lemon

My Added Ingredients:
Lime (It has a nicer flavour I swear)
Cardamom pods
Mint
A little unflavoured yoghurt (You can add milk instead)
Chillies

So what you do with this is, for the love of god, is fry your spices first. This means the cumin and coriander. First you grind them, and you fry them in a dry pan and you take them off the fire. You should always do this with herbs and spices. Get a huge pot, fry your onions and garlic in a little bit of oil, add your beef until all are nice and brown. Then add everything else and cover with a heap of stock or water. Keep boiling until you're satisfied and add salt and pepper to taste.

Yeah, good food makes me happy.

I just remembered...

You guys should really check out the something positive link, it's one of my favourite webcomics. That guy's hysterical and if you have a lot of time, like me, you should really read it from the beginning. It just reminded me though, of how religious people find stupid explanations in order to justify their cause. See, I remember having a debate with this catholic boy and he told me that suffering of other people is necessary so that people appreciate what they have. See, only spoilt brats from developed countries get to say this. Don't get me wrong, Singapore is a first world country, but I went on trips to Thailand and Indonesia to help the children there. Well, TRIED to help the children there.

Anyway, how could anyone in their right fucking minds ever endorse such a horrific thing? Where's the benchmark on how ridiculous that really is? I mean, look at it this way, if you were living in an isolated village, maybe they should hang a man every month by his ankles to see how fortunate you are. How fucking ridiculous, honestly. African children starving, having their limbs cut off, Thai children getting sold in the sex trade or having to beg with their limbs chopped as well. How could anyone who believes in God justify their suffering? Indonesian children who live in slums with no proper sanitation, mile high piles of shit with their goats eating the shit and them eating the goats. In the distance shows a giant, beautiful, intricately designed mosque standing proud over the slum and the filth.

Fuck you, whoever says suffering is justified so other people may learn from it. It just breeds a disgusting attitude. It's so far away, who the fuck cares? Let's just sit in our ikea furnished houses, eating our fucking dinners in front of large screen televisions, sipping our tea/drinks imported from different countries and carry on with our fucking lives and yes, let's be grateful because some number of people are dying tonight without these luxuries, without any food and definitely no shelter. Let's be grateful because we're not spreading our legs tonight or going face down and thinking of our respective gods. Yes, let's be thankful, and let us thank God for blessing us with this shit and making sure that WE'RE happy.

Look, shit happens all the time right? Good, I'm not saying go donate to wherever, because I really don't believe in that. If you want to help someone, do it, if you want to be apathetic, go ahead. Just don't try to justify it using religion and that it's God's will for doing so. Doing that would be acknowledging that God's a cruel God, an elitist God. A God who spits on the meek and purposely toys with their fates for the benefit of his own sheep. I thought God was supposed to be compassionate, caring, kind... Perfect? It's easy to say he's perfect when shit's going well for you. Think about that.

Dolphin pain

Don't check that link out. It's not for the faint-hearted. I'm not up for advertising but I do believe that awareness of this should be raised. This is the sole reason why I don't eat tuna. Yes, I know they say dolphin free, but how much can you trust them huh? As if they'd know. Meh. Anyway, since I can't do anything but say shit on my blog. I'm distributing this.


http://www.glumbert.com/media/dolphin

Painful post: Why Some Women End Up with Assholes

See, most nice guys tend to be well, nice. See, you hear women complaining all the time demanding for a nice, decent guy. Women of all ages do this, and I for one have said this a million times even saying I would turn lesbian because all the guys are assholes, etc. The nice guys hardly ever get chosen though. Why? Well, first of all, nice guys tend to be shy and quiet. A lot of girls, younger girls especially tend to go for the jock, the stronger, the louder. Nice guys, from what I've observed, don't feel the need to be loud and attention seeking.

Second of all, why we choose assholes in the end anyway? We tend to choose these assholes as women like a strong, confident man. These assholes tend to portray themselves as the confident guys. Confident men don't need to be reaffirmed, whether you are nice or an asshole when you are truly confident, this shows and this is exactly what girls go after. Anyway, only after a couple of months do women realise these guys are assholes and dump them accordingly. See, if these guys don't get dumped there's two possible conclusions that can be drawn from this. Either the girl has a saviour attitude, where she feels the need to save him from himself or she has such low self-esteem that she puts up with his bullshit because she feels that nobody would love her.

Yes guys, it's hurtful but true. I know some nice guys are like, but the girl I'm in love with is perfect! Well, we don't feel that way. Women are highly, HIGHLY critical of themselves. They don't feel the same way you do about themselves. If they saw themselves are perfect, they wouldn't bother dealing with guys who treat them like shit. I will admit now, I felt that way. I was/still am highly critical of myself. I was a mixture of both, I felt pity for the fuckhead I was with. I felt that if I wasn't there he would fall to pieces because he was/is an utter mess. I also felt that I wasn't worth anything. Of course I'm much better now, but at the time, I had such low self-esteem it was quite sad. Of course this was a combination of my upbringing back home, and my own stupidity to be blind to anything I had to offer. I will reveal more of this in due time.

There are of course, girls who know this is happening but is too emotionally invested in the relationship to be able to let go. She then needs some help guys. She can do this in many ways, (I'm not saying this is right) but she might want a little push in the direction of the new guy. It could be all things from an amazing screwing session to a quiet night hanging out to a really fun and relieving outing. Just nudge her along, don't be too pushy because she's obviously had to deal with that from her current asshole bf. Be gentle, be understanding, be caring. Be all the things you want to be for her, but most of all, let her know you're much more able to take care of her than her current bf. You have ample opportunity to act in whatever way you want, just bear in mind what SHE needs not what you want to give. It's true that all's fair in love and war. All this has to be done with a slight sprinkle of subtlety. I know it's asking a lot, and you might take awhile to reel her in but she'll be more appreciative that way.

See, I was with an asshole for a substantial length of time. I wanted to get out of the relationship, and I did, a number of times but always got sucked in. It was one of those break and patch relationships which just got worse each time. He got shittier each time, more hurtful things said from the previous relationship. It just wasn't healthy and there were a few nice guys on the side I knew. I was also one of the girls who needed a push. Some guys did the right thing, some were too pushy (doing this awakens fears that you're the same as the guy the girl wants to leave), some tried doing it too late. Anyway, so I'm with a guy now who followed the formula in the previous paragraph and it took awhile for him to get me but I'm extremely happy that I ended up with him.

As you can tell, I'm much happier with myself and I know I'm not the ridiculously stupid, hopeless, underachieving, slob-like, ugly thing that I thought myself to be. At least after a couple of months, I'm finally confident enough to finish this post. It's amazing what a good or bad relationship can do to someone.

For Shame!

How dare they? I walked by a house today and there were books scattered all over the ground in front of it. People were just walking by and checking the books and picking it up randomly. Of course, I did this as well. Hey, I'd rather grab a good book, and once that book is mine I will bring it with me until I can place it on my library that I'm intending to build. For shame! How dare they treat books that way, how disrespectful, honestly. The audacity. Some people shouldn't be allowed to breathe.

I have recently finished Jane Eyre. I read this when I was younger because my mom made me but reading it again there are so many things that I missed as a child. It's fascinating how children really are unable to pick up subtleties in literature! I used to pride my literature skills as well, the audacity. Bahahaha, I love that word. Anyway, it was interesting to see how life was like in Charlotte Bronte's time. Women were treated so different then, but the women were still bitchy, the rich still spoilt. I suppose a really big difference is how ambition was so quelled in the working class. They were but content with their lives and knew they had to strive hard and work hard for their daily bread.

SPOILER, DO NOT READ IF YOU WANT TO READ JANE EYRE.




Also the Christian influence on that time was immensely annoying. No, not the religion, ARGH, but how Jane was so headstrong that she refused the hand of someone she was immensely in love with and only agreed to marry him once his wife was dead. I mean, the wife was insane, can you imagine this sort of thing happening now? The marriage would have been annulled ages ago, they would have had a happy ending. God knows, they would have screwed quite a number of times. How different we are from then, and how similar. We are definitely more impatient than then. Things happened so slowly then, and now technology and life happens so quickly one is left feeling morally destitute and confused.

A child is likely to witness 300,000 murders before the end of high school.

Ok, sorry, I really don't care if children watch murders or not, I just had to include that statistic.

Ugh, I finally moved...

Wait wait, first thing's first.

I've decided to upload my picture on my 100th post.

Next thing, I've finally moved. This is the first time I am not living with any sort of family. I am finally independent. I feel too young for this, I mean okay, I left home at 17 to Sydney and the psychotic people I was living with didn't help me much but they were still there? You know? Like even though most of what they did was cause me misery, at least it was family? Now I'm alone, it's not that I'm afraid it's more like I'm so relieved this day has come. I'm finally free from that hell hole. My only companion, Gremlin, will see me through these tough times of settling in for a bit. Grem's my cat. After that it'll be all good, I'm finally rid of the main cause of unhappiness in my life.

I thank god.

Something I wrote in my old notebook when I was 17

I wrote this when I was bored during a lesson. Yes, it's utterly random.

Memories exist within the mind. Entry after entry, file after file, archive upon archive. Memories filled with every single occurence however insignificant and minute stored in a haphazard order to be recalled in the blink of an eye. Everything good, everything bad. Wounds, scars and scabs. These memories are the only evidence that one has existed. These memories, imprinted within your brain and carried to the grave. These memories define who you are.

I want to write something that will change the world.

I don't know why I'm always so afraid. It takes one mistake to end a life. Chance is a deadly weapon.

Everything that's happened to me has taught me something valuable. Each memory, a treasure unsurpassed by the highest teachings. Every tear I've shed has made me grow. I do not believe, even for a second, that anyone plays by the same laws and to survive one has to learn from his mistakes.

I sold out

I'm broke, so I decided to sign up for adsense. Merf. I'm not allowed to encourage viewers to click. So don't. Don't click for me but because you genuinely like the links. I feel sick to my stomach.

Picture or No?

I'm considering putting my picture up although I am fully aware of the repercussions. Then again, my name's already on the blog. Shrugs, it would further destroy what little bit of privacy I have. It's not fair though, 2 years ago if you googled my name (my other name, I have two) you would have been able to see some of my achievements in a newspaper and stuff. Now? Just this blog. That's it. Bleh.

Not that I hate my blog, I'm just not extremely proud of it yet. Not as proud as my other achievement which for now will be nameless. No, it wasn't a silly childish competition mind you. Still though, picture or no... Picture or no? It would open a different aspect of the blog, you've read the thoughts, you know the name, would the look change anything? Would it be considered hiding if I kept it secret? I could potentially get heaps of shit if the muslim community is pissed off with me though.

It is true, I would like to be able to live in a world where you could speak things freely, but as I've repeated a million times, there's no such thing now. It is but an illusion that we are given. We are allowed to say whatever we want as long as it is unimportant. Could it also be interpreted as cowardice? I hide behind the internet? I remember some stupid ho saying that I hide behind the internet, which is weird seeing as how my name's there and everything. Duh. Now, I don't know... Should I? Shouldn't I? Shrugs.

New Template

So I've finally changed my template. I decided to go with blue for it's calming effects. Nyeah!

Cancer - Natural Progression or Disease?

I've always wondered about this and it was music to my ears when my professor actually mentioned this in a lecture. Bloody brilliant. See cancer may happen spontaneously, sometimes out of nowhere, sometimes due to a genetic trait, sometimes because your DNA has transposons that copy/cut paste itself onto your genome thus rearranging or fucking up a certain alignment through which your proteins are sequenced. Okay, let me put it down as layman as I possibly can.

All animals are made of protein. It constitutes 50% of dry matter in your body. You have DNA in all your cells which has the blueprint to make the correct arrangement of proteins. This DNA has the well known ATCG and an arrangement of these 4 in sets of 3 allow for a particular type of protein to be made. Let's say ATC codes for a short length of protein x (I know there are peptides, but this is for benefit of people not versed in biology). So protein x plus another protein say y and so on make say, for example, a small bit of muscle. So when something goes wrong in the DNA, you get crappy proteins and the wrong kind of muscle made. Now your DNA also contains flagpoints which tell the protein production to stop. When this screws up, it just grows bigger and bigger. And you are then faced with TA DAH cancer.

Now when saying that cancer is the natural progression of things... DNA screw ups sometime happen spontaneously, could this be the natural order of death? You get cancer and die? Could it be DNA's inherent way of self-destructing when it's your time to go? What are the possible triggers for this? Is it spontaneous, is it timed, could it be affected with lifestyle?

The older you get, the more likely you are to develop cancer. It is also known that you have a chance of developing lung cancer if you smoke. Funnily enough, with the steady and rapid decline of cigarette smoking it's funny how the occurrence of lung cancer has not decreased at all. Could this be a case of where people get lung cancer, which is a pretty popular one to get, and die off naturally? Could it be due to pollution? I mean, animals get cancers as well, so could it be possible that that's the natural order of things?

If so, if it's not a disease, humans are capable of literally cheating death and being the first beings on the planet able to perpetuate their existence through sheer intelligence. Hail science.

So I'm Job Searching

All the jobs I really want, I'm not qualified for. Yes, I'm applying for typical uni student jobs but I wish I could do something within my degree. Honestly though, I know I'm not qualified, I still have heaps of shit to learn but looking at these jobs just inspire me to work harder. I saw a job for a stem cell research facility. My dream job. Yes, I've always wanted to be in research. At least then I might have SOME chance in doing SOMETHING that might progress human kind. This whole molecular biology thing was started by a teacher of mine in high school. I, of course, wanted to do anatomy so that I would get to look at the body but she opened my eyes to the body at a molecular level which is so much more interesting. The body has so many ways of protecting itself and regulating itself that it's absolutely amazing. Even simple things that they teach you in high school like the blood circulatory system is so immense and intricate.

I've always known somehow that I've wanted to delve into research. Ever since I was young, the only thing that fascinated me was science. Pure and simple, it was science. Of course religion and other things were thought of, morals and whatever not. Science is the only method through which a thought is processed, undergone vigorous testing and whatever we know has been proven. Some people say science will not be able to answer everything, some people would prefer that didn't happen anyway seeing as how it takes away the magic of everything. I think the pursuit of knowledge is the magic of everything. It makes us who we are, we are human and inquisitive creatures by nature. I don't care that science won't answer everything by the time I die. If I could answer, or at the very least, contribute to even ONE answer of some question at least once in my life I would be able to say that my life wasn't a waste of time.

Yawn.

Some people just can't take a hint even if you shout right in their faces. If they refuse to listen to anyone but themselves, it's funny to watch them realise they're on a lone island in a sea. And I'll say it again, YAWN. Boooring.

I've made a heap of progress

In the past 6 months, I have made many personal achievements. I'm a much happier person than I was when I started this train wreck of a blog while picking up the pieces of myself. I felt as if I've grown and I've done things, learnt things and gotten over things that I wasn't able to get over earlier in my life.

As I was eating dinner on the playground today, I saw a girl with the "ashamed of my breasts" syndrome. Like me, in my younger years, I walked around with my hands folded around my chest feeling really shitty and awkward. I'm guessing we both don't want the extra attention you get for having breasts but meh, you deal with it? I only started getting over it when I was 17 and people stopped pointing out how big they've gotten because you can't tell chinese girls and boys apart. Shut up, my mom's Chindian I dare you to say I'm racist.

The next big hurdle I have SOMEWHAT conquered was my insomnia that has plagued me since (so my parents tell me) I was born. I know I'm posting this at 430 am, but I woke up early today and I still can't sleep now. MEH. AND I SAID SOMEWHAT.

I've also conquered my fear of sleeping with the doors and windows open.

I've learnt to curb my temper towards my sibling, even though my enrollment letter was not given to me by the only people who had the mailbox key and the letter said admissions and examinations on the cover with my name on it.

I have most of this to thank one person. Honey, I know you're going to read this one of these days and make fun of me or post a mean comment because you think blogs are lame. Love ya anyway, and happy early birthday so you won't kill me when it is your birthday.

MYEARGH

I've finally decided to be an adult and check out what I need to do for uni and all that shit. Now that I have finally gotten the subjects I've wanted to do for years done I'm waiting for the reply of my professor telling me I can take a subject I don't have prerequisites for. RAWR. I'M SO SELF-CENTERED. She's a professor, she obviously has bigger shit on her plate than the student who didn't do human bio and did molecular bio instead but I still want that subject damnit. Imagine how cool it'd be, molecular bio background and second major in neuroscience. HELL YEAH. I'm such a nerd. Oh god, I'm such a nerd.

You know it's funny, I realised I was a geek in primary school. We had a class thing where you make up a riddle and the answer was supposed to be an animal. My riddle was something like it's a thing which walks on water. Not exact words, I can't for the life of me remember. And yes, this is a true story. The answer to that was the basilisk lizard, I know, it's stupid. I used to read encyclopedias. God, I'm such a nerd. What, I was happy that I finally learnt how to read. I learnt when I was 6. Shut up. Fuck.